Wednesday, April 18, 2007

More on the city...

The city and I constantly go back and forth. We have a love-hate relationship. I think I've mentioned that before.

On Monday, I would have taken drastic measures to leave New York. On Tuesday I loved it. My feelings on the city have always been cyclical, but the cycles usually last longer than one day. I can't entirely peg down what causes the shift. Weather. Boredom. Lonliness. Inconvenience. Parking. Last fall, the people-to-space ratio got me down. I guess it sort of all comes down to that. It's what makes a city a city.

So, yesterday, the people-to-space ratio was in my favor. Not that I had more space/less people, just that it worked out well that I didn't have more space. And that no one else did either.

Cool thing #1: I cleaned my apartment in two hours. Not super well, but dusted, swept, vacuumed, mopped and picked up. Clean enough for me, and I assume, I hope, that I am my harshest critic.

Cool thing #2: I had a check up at the doctor at 5. I walked out of my apartment at 4:55. Walked across the street, saw the doctor, was home by 6.

If I had more space, I would still be cleaning.
If everyone had more space, I'd still be driving.

Whether or not I live here is not up to me. Not really up to Dave. I assume it's up to God, though there are days when I have my doubts... Anyway, it's not home. It's hard for me to feel settled here. I think if it were home, I wouldn't strutinize it so much. I wouldn't be weighing the pros and cons like I do now. It would just be where I live.

I look forward to the day when home is just where I live.
But, for now, I'll keep seeking out the joys in the city.

1 comment:

Tara Whalen said...

He really looks like Dave in some of these pictures, but as a red head. =)