Sunday, December 30, 2007

the goal

after writing the last post, the focus came. Just like that. It is so good to write and get those thoughts flowing.

My focus for the year will be 'mother'.

Mothering encompasses all of those goals. Taking good care of Andrew through engagement and stimulation and good and healthy food. But one surprising thing I have learned about mothering since becoming a mother is how crucial it is to mother myself. That is why I carved out creative time in the first place. So I could take care of myself a bit (or, sometimes a lot) each day. Taking care of myself makes me a better mother. It builds my resources so I can handle the stresses and endurance of mothering. But it also shows Andrew that other people besides him need care. Which hopefully will translate to him caring for others. And, caring for myself models ideas for Andrew teaching him how to care for himself. And I do want him to be someone that cares for himself. It's funny though that I still feel like I need to justify to myself and to everyone else why it is important for me to take care of myself. It still feels selfish. And the idea of mothering is so not-selfish-at-all, that it seems a little counter-intuitive. But, I know through experience, that not taking care of myself can turn me into a puddle on the bathroom floor. And, really, what good is that?

So I will mother Andrew this year through activities that we do together (I am thinking creative time...he has a knack for stamping...and a Friday afternoon mantinee) plus more social outings. I am thinking I will mother myself by reading more. By that I mean having something to read at bedtime. Simple, but there have been many nights when I lay there wanting to read but not knowing what to read. I will mother the family through examining our meals. Keeping them simple and fun....and possibly more local. Though don't hold me to that one yet. I need more information before I can make any big decisions on transitioning to the local front.

So I feel good about this focus. Ready to take it on. Ready to see what it all will mean. I think the goals are specific and manageable.

And I'm sure at the end of the year, I will look back, shake my head and see lots of room for improvement.

but maybe with a few good lessons learned.


thedanceofthegates said...

I really like mothers who take care of themselves. The other ones make me roll my eyes a bit (although I'm sure the table will be turned someday).

Melissa said...

Yay for taking care of yourself- especially while you are pregnant, and especially whiel you still have naptime to enjoy!

I think you would like "The Big Rumpus"- it's about a mom in Manhattan and her kids. It's a fun, easy read. A big part of it is about taking care of her daughter while she is pregnant.