Thursday, February 19, 2009
It took me a while to figure out what kind of stay-at-home I was going to be. I'm not really the playgroup type. Playgroups sort of terrify me. I'm too cheap for music class and art class and swimming lessons, though I'm rethinking this now. I had to tinker with my days for months to see what routines worked. To see how to make this healthy and satisfying and good..for all involved. And I pretty much have my system down.
I am one of the lucky ones in the sense that simple domestic chores like cleaning are oddly fulfilling. Also, I'm all for food prep, bed making and child care. So, a lot of things I'd have to do anyway, I like to do. Add to that healthy doses of creative play throughout my days and weeks and I'm set. I have my need-to-do's and my want-to-do's and I thrive off of a good tension between those two groups.
My routines though need constant tinkering. Naptimes get shuffled around. Dinnertime fluctuates. The best time to get out my messy mommy toys has begun to shift. But, still, if I have all my elements in place, I have my overall sense of fulfillment.
This is not to say that I do not have my rough patches. My days when one more load of laundry would do me in for good. When washing a sink load of dishes seems like something I am not really qualified to do. When I wake up and greet the day with "This again?" But, I've seen many of those kinds of patches, big and small, and the thing about them is, that they always go away. Though it might some tinkering.
This morning, as I was sitting on the living room floor with my boys, Andrew seemed so small and lovely and Isaac seemed so chubby and darling and I felt so, so glad to be sitting on the living room floor with them. Soaking. Them. In.
I guess I just wanted to say that I am really fulfilled with my job right now.
And I LOVE that feeling.
Though I could use someone to fold the laundry. Takers?