Thursday, February 19, 2009

fulfillment



It took me a while to figure out what kind of stay-at-home I was going to be. I'm not really the playgroup type. Playgroups sort of terrify me. I'm too cheap for music class and art class and swimming lessons, though I'm rethinking this now. I had to tinker with my days for months to see what routines worked. To see how to make this healthy and satisfying and good..for all involved. And I pretty much have my system down.

I am one of the lucky ones in the sense that simple domestic chores like cleaning are oddly fulfilling. Also, I'm all for food prep, bed making and child care. So, a lot of things I'd have to do anyway, I like to do. Add to that healthy doses of creative play throughout my days and weeks and I'm set. I have my need-to-do's and my want-to-do's and I thrive off of a good tension between those two groups.

My routines though need constant tinkering. Naptimes get shuffled around. Dinnertime fluctuates. The best time to get out my messy mommy toys has begun to shift. But, still, if I have all my elements in place, I have my overall sense of fulfillment.

This is not to say that I do not have my rough patches. My days when one more load of laundry would do me in for good. When washing a sink load of dishes seems like something I am not really qualified to do. When I wake up and greet the day with "This again?" But, I've seen many of those kinds of patches, big and small, and the thing about them is, that they always go away. Though it might some tinkering.

This morning, as I was sitting on the living room floor with my boys, Andrew seemed so small and lovely and Isaac seemed so chubby and darling and I felt so, so glad to be sitting on the living room floor with them. Soaking. Them. In.

I guess I just wanted to say that I am really fulfilled with my job right now.
And I LOVE that feeling.
Though I could use someone to fold the laundry. Takers?


7 comments:

Ms. Walker said...

I've always wondered what kind of mom I'm going to be, too. I thought I'd get married, have a family, stay at home -- and that doesn't seem to be happening...instead I'm remaining single, adopting a baby, and continuing to work...
I know this isn't directly related to what you're talking about..but the theme got me thinking.
Thanks for the prompt! and I'll fold laundry anyday -- I hate the putting away part!

Robyn said...

Woah!!! Jennifer! Congratulations! That is so exciting! You need to start a blog so we can all see this unfold! Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

I determined I need an "assistant" to help with all of the mundane tasks so I can focus on just being a good mommy! I think it is great that you have your own way to do the stay at home mom thing, that we all each have our own way, what works and what doesn't work.

-Steph

Firefly said...

I love this scrapbook page -- all that grassy green and red. Pretty.

Melissa said...

I'm with you- I really don't mind most housework- the things I DO mind are laundry and constantly cleaning up Enzo-messes.

I see myself as being in between you and my sister. (-: My sister is constantly on the go, and her kids are always involved in some sort of social group or class. I spend more time than her at home, but I also like getting us out so the kids can interact with other kids, we get a change of scenery, and I can chat with other parents. That's so much more fun to do, though, when we don't have to go out in the yucky winter weather- I can't wait for spring!!

Abbie said...

lovely post & lovely scrapbook page!

I've enjoyed browsing your blog after clicking over from Kate Ortiz's blog. Your boys are precious!

Abbie said...

I was typing fast. here's the proper link back to my blog.