30 seconds

I had one of those moments that you are not sure whether or not you want to have. I saw someone from high school.

I have kept in touch with a mere handful of friends from high school (Hi Loralee!), but this was different. This was someone I haven't seen in ten years. I haven't kept in touch with her.

We used to be pretty close. She was my best friend in the seventh grade. We had sleep overs, went trick-or-treating together, and even imagined having 'boyfriends' (whatever that means in 7th grade...) that were buddies so we could all hang out. Once we hit high school we wandered down different paths and drifted apart.

When I saw her she looked sad. Not just having-a-bad-day sad, the sad had settled in. It settled in a while ago. The way she walked, the way she looked, her expression all spoke of sad. I was sitting in my car, waiting for my mom to come out of a store when I saw her pull up in hers, get out and head inside. I stared. Was it her? It had to be. I heard that she was working for her dad. A minimum wage (or barely more) job. She had a couple of kids. And, from seeing her, it doesn't look like she is pleased with the way it all turned out.

It makes me feel lucky. But the kind of lucky that you only notice when you see that someone else doesn't feel lucky. That dosen't seem like a very good lucky to feel. Feeling lucky at someone else's expense. I often get down about where I live...the city, the small apartment...and although I do think that those are very real challenges for me...I think that I would chose those challenges when seeing what others are facing. It makes me feel mean to think that. I don't really know how to undertand the "at least I have it better than _______" line of thought. But, in this situation...I think I do have "it" better than she does.

I know I am reading a lot into a 30 second spot in my life. And am reading even more into a 30 second spot in her life. But I don't think I am too far off. It leaves me wondering why things turn out the way they do. Decisions we make? Luck? Parental factors? God?

Anyway, it all has me excited to look for parking, hook my washing machine up to the kitchen sink and head out into the rain to walk three blocks for milk. Honorable or not: it makes me feel like a lucky girl.