I loved college.
Gordon was a really good place for me. I went to a rural Vermont high school. And, although I think that alcohol and drugs are rampant in a lot of high schools, I think that they are the plagues of rural high schools. And, I was way too nerdy and way too scared of upsetting my parents to succumb to peer pressure. So I didn't. When I look back, I blame my unwillingness to drink and drug on my lack of high school chums. But, maybe there were other factors....like the nerdy bit. All I can say, is thank goodness for Loralee.
Arriving at Gordon, I was stunned that people could like me. I was amazed at my agility at making friends. I felt like the most popular person on campus... even though I wasn't. I was loud and confident and silly and boisterous. I was accepted. It was amazing. I can still feel the effects of that 2 semester high.
Gordon was so safe. Of course there were problems and craziness and sadness. There were negative aspects. It's there and I know. But. There is so much else there.
I met a lot of my current closet friends that first semester. I met my friend Diana, by waltzing into her dorm room (I am being literal: I was waltzing) because she was playing classical music. She loved it. I cannot imagine doing that now. I think it is a testament to how free and acceptable I felt.
So going back is nice because it is beautiful there and it brings back good memories. But it is also weird, because I have moved on. One of my friends recently finished a Master's degree at Gordon and related that she started her master's at a good time. There was enough time since her undergrad years that she didn't look like one of those people that can't seem to move on. I always worry that that is what I look like when I go back. I worry someone will stop me and say: move on.
But they don't.
Because, remember? I am so accepted there.
That place makes a lot of sense to me.
5 comments:
those were golden days at Gordon. those four years gave me my closest friends too....wish one of them wasn't far away in brooklyn....but I guess it's good for the pizza research that began at Gordon. Does anyone else have a friendship rooted in pizza?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the trip, yo?
Funny, that feeling of acceptedness and of being comfortable with yourself, isn't it? I don't know that I found it until my first classroom and teaching. College was a blip to figure some things out, but feeling truly myself has come in my mid-twenties.
Back to high school, though... you sure were a blessing in my life.
You are right on, Loralee. Acceptedness is being comfortable with yourself. But I think other people greatly affect whether or not I am comfortable with myself. Word?
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