Wednesday, August 22, 2007

and while we are on the subject...

I loved college.

Gordon was a really good place for me. I went to a rural Vermont high school. And, although I think that alcohol and drugs are rampant in a lot of high schools, I think that they are the plagues of rural high schools. And, I was way too nerdy and way too scared of upsetting my parents to succumb to peer pressure. So I didn't. When I look back, I blame my unwillingness to drink and drug on my lack of high school chums. But, maybe there were other the nerdy bit. All I can say, is thank goodness for Loralee.

Arriving at Gordon, I was stunned that people could like me. I was amazed at my agility at making friends. I felt like the most popular person on campus... even though I wasn't. I was loud and confident and silly and boisterous. I was accepted. It was amazing. I can still feel the effects of that 2 semester high.

Gordon was so safe. Of course there were problems and craziness and sadness. There were negative aspects. It's there and I know. But. There is so much else there.

I met a lot of my current closet friends that first semester. I met my friend Diana, by waltzing into her dorm room (I am being literal: I was waltzing) because she was playing classical music. She loved it. I cannot imagine doing that now. I think it is a testament to how free and acceptable I felt.

So going back is nice because it is beautiful there and it brings back good memories. But it is also weird, because I have moved on. One of my friends recently finished a Master's degree at Gordon and related that she started her master's at a good time. There was enough time since her undergrad years that she didn't look like one of those people that can't seem to move on. I always worry that that is what I look like when I go back. I worry someone will stop me and say: move on.

But they don't.

Because, remember? I am so accepted there.
That place makes a lot of sense to me.


Tara said...

those were golden days at Gordon. those four years gave me my closest friends too....wish one of them wasn't far away in brooklyn....but I guess it's good for the pizza research that began at Gordon. Does anyone else have a friendship rooted in pizza?

Robyn said...

Hey! Welcome back! How was the trip, yo?

Loralee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loralee said...

Funny, that feeling of acceptedness and of being comfortable with yourself, isn't it? I don't know that I found it until my first classroom and teaching. College was a blip to figure some things out, but feeling truly myself has come in my mid-twenties.

Back to high school, though... you sure were a blessing in my life.

Robyn said...

You are right on, Loralee. Acceptedness is being comfortable with yourself. But I think other people greatly affect whether or not I am comfortable with myself. Word?