happy.

Today I want to blog about my blog.

I started this blog last December. It was a terrible month for me. I was bored and lonely and very, very sad. Part of the reason that I felt so very sad was that I was bored...in December. You are not suppose to bored in December. Stressed, frazzled, rushed, but not bored.

I was in between projects at work and really had nothing to do. I cleaned, did laundry, baked, took care of Andrew, but it was not enough. I needed more to fill my time. I wanted to do more creative things, but I felt like being creative was like playtime and playtime should really come up about once a week. I would allow myself playtime on Fridays, but spent the rest of the week wondering what to do.

Then I started reading blogs. Art blogs. Craft blogs. Blogs with good photography. There was one in particular (that the author has since taken down) that gave me the sense of "I can do this too". I took Andrew for a walk, along the river and decided that I would start a blog. That it would sort of be a gift to myself. That, in a way, it would be me standing up for myself to say "I'm important!" and even "I'm here!"

I knew I wouldn't like it at first. I gave myself a little room to begin. To start one, work on it, expecting to not like it, but to plow on until I hit my rhythm. Then, I would little by little let others in on my project. I had several goals for 3Peas. The biggest was connection. I so badly wanted to connect with other creative people. Show them what I was doing. See what they were doing. Get into that community a bit. Another goal was to use the blog to help me structure my day. It was an excuse to be creative everyday and not just Fridays. I had to create something for the blog, right? My readers are depending on me. I really needed that. That audience. Even if the audience was mostly imaginary.

Well, I am happy to say, it worked. I am much healthier and happier person now. In part because of my washer/dryer, our bigger apartment, my steady work, my little belly. But, also in part because of 3Peas. Giving myself time and space everyday to be creative has given me a sense a of balance and expression that I didn't even know I needed. I had no idea how important creative pursuits are to me, until I gave in.

And community. I have a little following! I get emails from people that say they like 3Peas. I have daily connection with friends and family all over the country. And, in the last few months a little sub-community has developed. There are four of us. Two in California, two in New York. One of the four introduced the rest of us. One of the four I have never met. One of the four I see once a week. I love our four-some.

All this is coming up right now, because one of the foursome commented on another's blog about one of my posts. She was talking about a connection she made between something I said and something she said. She didn't comment on mine about it, but she knew I would see it. It made me so happy. I felt honored and connected and even a bit loved.

Sometimes all this 'post' and 'blog' and 'comment' talk seems a little superficial. It's all online and how important can it really be? I mean, shouldn't I be connecting with neighbors and people nearby? well, yes. But I wouldn't give up this online community. It's done me good. I love it.

OK. That's it. Lighter fare on the schedule tomorrow.
I promise. ;)