Monday, January 28, 2008
I have been in a rough spot lately. I had a very hard, very emotional first trimester in this pregnancy and some of the same patterns that I thought had passed have come back.
Every afternoon I am overwhelmed with exhaustion. Overwhelmed with it. It hits at about 4 and it does not go away until I wake up the next morning. It is the kind of exhaustion that I sometimes confuse with feeling very sad. I can't get off the couch. I can't do what I normally do. And I don't want to. It is very frustrating. I get easy irritated and I just want to hide until I am feeling better.
But, this fatigue is not easily remedied. I have tried to go to bed early and I can't. Not only am I hit by a wall of exhaustion daily, but I have not been able to sleep at night. Which, I assume, increases the likelihood of the next day's battle with fatigue. This means I am tired from about 4 in the afternoon until about midnight. Last night it was after 1. Very frustrating.
The other night I was talking to a friend on the phone. I was talking about Sprout and other events that will happen close to Sprout's arrival, namely, Andrew's birthday. I was worrying that I would not be able to do what I would like for his birthday because it will fall during New Baby Days. This thinking, although a tad loopy is nothing. There's more.
We got off the phone, I got ready for bed and I lay in bed for hours obsessing over Andrew's birthday party. Which will be in June. I thought of themes and projects and food and invitations all the while frustrated that I could not sleep. And knowing that I could not sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about a birthday party for a toddler that won't happen for five months. Even though I knew it was ridiculous, I had plenty of time, I just needed to go to sleep. I couldn't.
So, the good news is that I have lots of good ideas and the party is practically planned. The bad news is that those kinds of nights make the fatigue hit earlier than usual the next day.
So, fair readers, I need a little advice. What are your tricks? What helps you to sleep? What helps you to stop planning birthday parties in the middle of the night so that you can drift off?
and who can help me with Andrew's hair?