Wednesday, April 9, 2008
more thoughts on things and stuff
I am feeling a little self conscious that all I write about lately is kids and pregnancy. Do you find yourself saying, 'enough already, we want to hear more about politics and crafting and world peace!'? It makes total sense to me that I am consumed with this very present little person, but I am scared of boring/annoying/scaring you off. Just thought I would fess up about those insecurities first thing. Before I begin another post about pregnancy.
So, I feel more responsible this time. More motherly. More into preparing and getting things squared away. After all, I need to take care of Andrew. Last time I would think things like, "we don't need more toilet paper! I'm due in 3 days!" I would only plan food for the next meal, because, well, I might go into labor. For some reason I thought that life would stand still once my water broke and we would no longer need things like food and toilet paper.
This time I am hyper-planning ahead. Planning easy meals for Andrew's caregivers to prepare, making an Andrew care package and a Care Manuel so the folks watching Andrew can find things like towels and our local park. The people we think will be with Andrew already know all of these things...but what if they can't come? What if they are called out of town and I have to call in someone else? I just can't risk someone watching Andrew that doesn't know that Andrew will need a lot of food in the mornings because he wakes up very hungry. I mean, that is not something they will figure out. And Andrew certainly wouldn't tell them.
Ok. He would. Loud and clear.
I am taking a lot of comfort in my hyper planning ahead. And making sure there is food and toilet paper at all times. It makes me feel settled and prepared and responsible and gives me some small sense that I might actually be able to handle two kids.
I am still prone to funny thoughts though. Things that should be obvious strike me in a big way.
The other day I was hanging out with Andrew and he was being particularly cute. And I thought, "oh my goodness! When Sprout comes we get to keep Andrew too!"
and that makes me very, very happy.
Posted by Dave at 1:36 PM