Monday, May 19, 2008
Earlier today I went to the grocery store. By myself. Isaac was asleep and Dave and Andrew were hanging out and getting ready to go to the park. I had a few minutes and I didn't have enough yeast for the bread I wanted to make. So out I went.
I felt amazing. I was so proud of myself for how well things were going. I was catching on to more and more of Isaac's cues and finding his little cries less mysterious. Andrew was in good spirits and practically back to himself. I felt so peppy that I imagined the people I passed being shocked to learn I gave birth a week and a half ago. I had it together.
Then Dave left for a doctor's appointment.
And Isaac was fussy and could not get to sleep. And Andrew was jealous that I had to spend so much time with Isaac and was not pleased that his Dad left. Most of what I said to Andrew between 4:30 and 6:00 was "shhh! Baby brother's quiet time." To which he responded, "no. no. no." (At least it wasn't 'NO! NO! NO!') Isaac would settle enough for me to start dinner. Then need comfort again. Then settled more so I could work on dinner a little more. More comfort. And then I was able to finish dinner and get a plate together for Andrew.
I felt defeated. I could not figure out what was bothering Isaac and felt terrible that Andrew was being ignored.
Now they are both settled. The place is quiet. And Dave is home. I am recuperating with a glass of ginger ale-vitamin water punch. And kind thoughts of "It's okay. You'll figure it out. It was the first time."
Now to space out on the couch for a while.
Posted by Dave at 7:28 PM