Earlier today I went to the grocery store. By myself. Isaac was asleep and Dave and Andrew were hanging out and getting ready to go to the park. I had a few minutes and I didn't have enough yeast for the bread I wanted to make. So out I went.
I felt amazing. I was so proud of myself for how well things were going. I was catching on to more and more of Isaac's cues and finding his little cries less mysterious. Andrew was in good spirits and practically back to himself. I felt so peppy that I imagined the people I passed being shocked to learn I gave birth a week and a half ago. I had it together.
Then Dave left for a doctor's appointment.
And Isaac was fussy and could not get to sleep. And Andrew was jealous that I had to spend so much time with Isaac and was not pleased that his Dad left. Most of what I said to Andrew between 4:30 and 6:00 was "shhh! Baby brother's quiet time." To which he responded, "no. no. no." (At least it wasn't 'NO! NO! NO!') Isaac would settle enough for me to start dinner. Then need comfort again. Then settled more so I could work on dinner a little more. More comfort. And then I was able to finish dinner and get a plate together for Andrew.
I felt defeated. I could not figure out what was bothering Isaac and felt terrible that Andrew was being ignored.
Now they are both settled. The place is quiet. And Dave is home. I am recuperating with a glass of ginger ale-vitamin water punch. And kind thoughts of "It's okay. You'll figure it out. It was the first time."
Now to space out on the couch for a while.
7 comments:
Happy belated Riceversary! I love the pic of Andrew getting a haircut! Hey, if anyone can balance mommy-ing two little boys, translating Dave, and crafting it up, it's you. You are amazing. Always.
erin
Oh, Robyn!
Every now and then, when nothing seems to go right with my two for an afternoon or morning and I come home also feeling defeated and tuckered out, I've found myself crying to David and telling him that I can't do this. He always reminds me, "But you're doing it!"
You're doing it, Robyn! It may not be smooth or perfect or easy and someone might not escape temporarily unharmed, but you're doing it! :)
Erin, I spend soo much of my day translating Dave. ;)
Thanks guys!
Translating Dave is the perfect phrase. As you know, 99% of the time I don't get him.=) ALL babies sense when Moms need to get dinner ready and plan their fussy time around that! I'm glad to hear that no-no-no is no longer in caps! Each day a stronger step.
It WILL get better. It is SO early. Do you have a bag of toys for Andrew reserved just for when you are nursing or getting Isaac to sleep? That helped me some...some novelty toys to keep him happy for a while.
I remember the early Enzo days, where my days would be so insanely hectic and exhausting, but somehow when Chris got home, we were quite put together and what I was doing almost looked EASY. But it wasn't. But it got easier.
Also- can you tell me about white whole wheat flour???
Good to see that you got some nice time to yourself-good for you getting out there so soon! I can't give you any good advice on breaking down w/ two children though-I think I'd do the same thing.
I haven't been to your blog for about a week-so much great stuff to catch up on!
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