Friday, November 21, 2008

growth


I've come so far. I really have.

The older Andrew gets, and, perhaps, the older I get, the more I understand him.

Today I took the boys to a Staples to pick something up. Andrew was riding on a buggy board that was attached to the back of the stroller. I walked down an aisle and stopped the stroller so I could go and get the paper I needed. Nearby was a set of metal stairs on wheels that the employees use to reach items on the top shelves. I told Andrew, "Stay right here." I would only be a few feet away, but you never know. He smiled and said, "okay." I turned my back to get the paper and when I turned around Andrew had left the buggy board and had climbed up to the top of the stairs.

Why did I not see that coming? I mean, honestly, how could have resisted that without firm support from his mama? The temptation was too great.

And that, my friends, is how I've grown.

If he had done that a year ago I would have been mortified. I would have interpreted everyone's glance, everyone's reaction to be something along the lines of "that mother needs to get control of her kid. My kid would never do that!" The thing is, they might still be thinking that, and, to a certain extent, they are right. Andrew shouldn't be climbing precarious "employee only" stairs in the middle of stores. But, what I have learned is: I'm not done. I'm still full throttle in this mothering thing and he is still a work in progress. We'll get there.

And that means, when I am plucking him off of the stairs, I am more likely laughing inside than drowning in shame. And that is enormous progress.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Yet another story I can really relate to. I have found that having 2, for some reason, has made me more comfortable w/ these situations. Even as infants. When I was in public w/ ATticus crying away, I was sure everybody was looking at me thinking I must have no idea what I'm doing. By the time Enzo came around, I felt like I could prioritize comforting him instead of thinking about what I imagined other people to be thinking about.