Thursday, May 7, 2009

seeing clearly

I think I am just beginning to understand and accept that parenting, well, life really, is a series of tides. Low tides. High tides. Times when things are smoothly clipping along. Times when each day is its own struggle. And after a good long high tide, I now know that the oceans have shifted and the low tide is back.

Something is up with Isaac. Could be teething. Could be something else. I'm really not sure. What I do know is that he is having a really hard time this week. A hard time sleeping. A hard time not being cranky and fussy. Low tide, so to speak.

And therefore, Mama Robyn is having a hard time.

Yesterday, thanks to GoodyReid's coffee making tips a few posts back, I was able to successfully brew and enjoy two cups of coffee. And the caffeine successfully covered up my fatigue. I didn't know that I was utterly exhausted until about 11:30 yesterday morning. I had gotten Isaac up from a nap and something looked funny about him. One of his eyes looked strange. It was fuzzy. I sat him down and studied his eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

Turns out, nothing was wrong his eyes. It was my eyes that were acting up.

I had always thought, that if any part of my body were to fail, I sure hope that it wouldn't be my hands. I really, really need my hands. Now I know that hands are nothing compared to eyes.

Within half an hour I could barely see where I walked. I was squinting, stepping on things I couldn't see. I tried cleaning the table after lunch only to find a huge smear of banana on it that I honestly didn't see. My vision was blotchy, shadowed and completely unreliable.

very scary.

I did what I always do when tragedy strikes, I called mom.

"Am I going blind?"
"No. You are really, really tired."

Funny. I had no idea I was tired. But, in a strange moment of rational thinking, I decided to take my body seriously and keep to the couch, order take out and head to bed early.

Low tide, indeed.

Today I can see clearly but am still planning on a light day. A little laundry. Some light cleaning and lots of idle time. And hopefully I'll be back to my old tricks soon. Now if I can just get Isaac to turn the corner, we'll be golden. I'll keep you posted.


Cat said...

Hopefuly tings will be back on track soon! I think that kids feel when we are tired before we do and it gets to them too. My theory: you were high on adrenaline with all the b-day stuff going on and put the fatigue on the back burner. Isaac got the vibe and got fussy (just to make sure you didn't forget about him!)... Does this make any sense??? Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less alone!

Ms. Walker said...

I'm hoping the tide quickly changes!