muffins and mothering

First, a recipe:

Anyberry Muffins
(adapted from A Passion For Baking)
2 1/4 cup sugar
1/2 veg oil
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
4 large eggs
1 T vanilla
1/2 t orange extract
1 T baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sour cream
5 cups flour
2 cups anyberries

Preheat the oven to 425.
Mix together sugar, oil and butter.
Add eggs and vanilla and orange extract. Mix it, mix it.
Add baking powder, baking soda, salt.
I like to add the flour and the milk and sour cream in shifts. A little flour, a little milk, a little more flour, the sour cream, more flour, milk, etc. etc.
And for the anyberries, I used blueberries and cherries. Yum! Just don't use strawberries, but other than that, the berry world is yours.
Spray your muffin tin. Pour the batter in the muffin tin (makes 24!!! awesome muffins).
Bake for 15 minutes, lower the heat to 350 and bake for 12-15 more minutes.

I also made this recipe into a quick bread a little while ago. I just poured the batter into two loaf pans and baked them for like an hour or until they were done, done, done.



and on mothering:
Every now and then I hit sort of a blah place in mothering. I get snappy and irritable. And I hate it. The kids don't seem to mind, go figure. But I hate it. Anyway, I was in that place and then yesterday morning I woke up with this realization. Ready for this one? It's gonna blow you away. Here goes nothing:

Mothering is hard.

See, what I noticed about my blah place is that I think to myself things like "why can't I do this right?" "Why do I feel overwhelmed?" "This isn't that hard. What's my problem?" "I mean honestly!! I have a MASTER'S DEGREE IN EDUCATION!!!" And on and on...and instead of helping (!) it just makes me feel worse.

So, yesterday when I woke up and I thought, "hmm....mothering is hard." it made a huge difference. Instead of getting upset with myself during the day, I would remind myself, "yup. this is hard work." and it felt so very validating. When I got tired around 4, I didn't sit around and wonder why. I realized that I was tired because I had been working hard all day. Cooking and cooking and baking and cleaning and laundry and caring for active and trouble-seeking boys. Spinning and spinning from one thing to the next to the next to the next.

And I also know that the way I do things, I really ask for it. I mean, honestly, can't I just buy a loaf of bread instead of insisting on making it all of the time? Seriously. I totally add more work for myself. But, I like my systems and routines and the more work. I like making bread because I like homemade bread. and muffins. and cakes. and, well, you know.

So, I thought this might be worth sharing because maybe someone reading this is a mom and doesn't realize that mothering is hard work. And so, just in case, I thought I should let you know: this is hard work.