Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Today, while jumping around the living room, Andrew accidentally kicked his foot against the coffee table. He cried and needed a hug and sobbed, "I don't want to go to school!"
He spent the next few minutes in tears telling me he wanted to go to school, but he didn't want to school, but he did.
And I so know what he means. And I feel the same way.
I want him to go and I don't and I do and I don't.
I want him to make more friends. I want him to have more kids in his life. I want another adult to help me out for a few hours a day. I want him to sit with other kids and listen to stories and do art projects and eat sliced apples. I am excited to see him start this next phase of his life.
And I am also scared. For a long time I was worried that he would be a big trouble maker and I would get lots of phone calls home about how he wouldn't sit during story time. I'm not really worried about that anymore. I mean, it still might happen, but I feel like that has taken a back seat to some other things I've decided to worry about.
I've had Andrew home for four years. I think he will be in a very small minority of kids that have not had a school or day care experience yet. He might even be the only one. The other kids are bound to be more socially savvy than he is and I am afraid that he will be left out because of that.
And, I'm worried about me. I'm starting to see that this is going to be a big change for me. I'm going to have to get everyone out the door everyday! And arrive somewhere on time! And for some reason, his going to school makes me feel like I should be going back to work. And that doesn't really make sense, because I still have Isaac at home. I still have his big needs to meet. But, I'm worried about being bored and feeling less needed.
So, this day is turning out to be a little sad for me. Bracing for change. Wrapping my head around it all.
In other words, a good day for cake.
Posted by Dave at 11:38 AM