The truth is that preschool really threw me for a loop. And not like I was expecting. I thought the new routine would be what would take getting used to. I thought we'd struggle with timing of snacks and naps and when-to-get-the-shoes-on types of things. I feel like in my whole experience of motherhood, one of its greatest challenges has been getting out the door. But, oddly, that hasn't been a problem. We've been on time every day. We've got it down.
What I've been struggling with has been bigger and way more internal. I feel like, to an extent, I'm passing Andrew in. I've been working on Project Andrew for four years and the time has come to pass him off to some other experts. It's time for other people to jump in with their resources and help me with the assignment. I'm a little worried about what they'll think of him. Of me. But for some reason, this assignment I'm handing in, has really been making me think about the work I've done. And what I did well and what I wish I did differently. It has become a time of some intense self evaluation. And that stuff can be really hard.
Anyway, I made this art journal for my class to use in thinking about this period. What have I been doing? What I am doing now? What are my next steps?
Good stuff, my friends. Good stuff.
6 comments:
You will always be Andrew's numero uno -- for guidance, assurance, confidence, love and snuggles, fun, and crafty goodness. You will always be his mama. And you are a GREAT mama.
And I love that owl paper.
I also really like how the colors of your journal compliment the colors on the lollipop!
Very insightful Robyn. It's true, this stage does invite a sort of evaluation of your work. Your art journals have come just in time. ;)
I feel the same. I'd love to say more but I don't know where to start.... Thanks for the post, as always!
Hi!
I completely understand what you are going through. What a wonderful and thoughtful post.
Your family is precious, and I love all of the creative ideas you have on your blog.
Alyshia
i feel like this year is the training ground. i am okay with 2.5 hours. it is good. it makes me realize that i am NOT ready for next year. perhaps that is why we have this year. but next year - it is ALL day. right now, i still have the majority of the day. next year, i won't. the year, i appreciate the hour to have lunch with just one child (the baby sleeps during lunch). i appreciate seeing aspects of that child that are lost when refereeing between the two. i like this.
.... he does not. we can get out the door. no problem. we can't seem to figure out how to get in the door of the school. lots of tears.... lots. i keep waiting for today to be better than yesterday. not yet.
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