Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Dave and I have taken Andrew out of school. We are looking for another classroom for him, but for now, he is home.
His school year started out fine, but little things, and big things, started adding up and snowballed into a crisis. The week before Thanksgiving his classroom behavior peeked to the worst we have ever seen. That Thursday, when I picked him up from school, he was practically unrecognizable to me. He had been more or less out of control for three hours and no one there was able to help him. He has not been back since.
I wavered between rage and panic, second-guessing my every step, until I met with his pediatrician to form a plan. She affirmed that his present classroom is not a good fit for him and directed me towards resources to use moving forward. I am casting my net wide, contacting all kinds of people about finding another classroom for him. And it seems like this will take time to come together.
In the meanwhile, Andrew is fine. He is relieved to not be going to school. We've started Mommy School again and he absolutely loves it. I really enjoy working with him from home, though I definitely feel conflicted about it. He learns so much in the quiet one-on-one setting at our dining room table. But, it's not helping his social delay. It's not teaching him how to cope with overstimulation and how to make friends. Therefore, I don't think it can be our long term solution. But for now, it's working out fine. And it's giving me time to pull things together.
I've realized that parenting Andrew has made me face things about myself I'd rather not face. I hate conflict. I hate standing up against authority. I don't like needing help. Taking what feels like a giant step, by removing him from school, forces me to face those things about myself. And sometimes I grateful for that opportunity, but often I'm not. On the other hand, there are ways that Andrew was custom-tailored for me. I adore his quirkiness. I love how we can all sink into projects, side by side, quiet for long periods of time as we craft and bake and build and puzzle. And, I imagine, that's a universal parenting experience. There are parts of our kids that push us to change...and parts of our kids that fit like a glove. And I suppose it works out to be a good balance.
School crisis or no, advent is upon us! I finished up our advent calendar by sewing pockets on the back of each number card and making little tags for each pocket. This way I can use this calendar for several years and change the activities for each year. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions about Christmas things to do...I definitely included some!
onward and onward, my friends.