Thursday, July 8, 2010

you win some, you lose some

Yesterday's high: 100
Today's expected high: 88
humidity level: gross

Yesterday started out fantastically. Well, there was a small hiccup when I did my early wake up and found Andrew sitting on the couch ready for a new day. At 6 am. Sad to say, but my heart sank the littlest bit. I've been loving my time alone first thing every morning and I knew that a wakeful little boy was going to need breakfasts and cups of juice and someone to look at the blocks he's building and listen to things he has to say. Which, first thing in the morning, is strangely hard.

But, no matter! I can get over the small hiccup! I plow ahead through my Early Morning To Do list while making breakfast, getting cups of juice, looking at block towers and listening to the little things my little boy has say. Success.

Another small hiccup when Andrew gives me trouble about getting his teeth brushed and Isaac has to be wrestled into the stroller to get Andrew to school on time, but nothing a few deep breaths can't fix.

After dropping off Andrew, I felt fantastic. I was doing it! Sort of. I was trying my darndest! I was working so hard! I was going to knock this day outta the park!

And I did. I used my strategies. Park early, easy meals, I even had my hair braided back out of my face. But sometime around 4, I could feel the crash coming. I started snapping at both kids for minor infractions. I was feeling irritated by little things. And so, at this important juncture of the day, I made one fatal error.

I decided to clean out our storage closet.

I should have holed us all up in a bedroom with the a/c unit blasting. I should have gotten out the paints and stickers and made a huge mess! Or at the very least, I should have turned on the TV and sat down! But no, I was pulling out strollers and bikes and boxes filled with odd and ends and I kept snapping at the kids and at the inanimate objects that were just trying to obey gravity.

I emailed an SOS to Dave and jumped the shower. I put the kids in the bath and by the time reinforcements arrived (after a nasty commute home that included getting stuck on a very hot and crowded platform), we were okay again.

And so today, I am working on forgiving myself for becoming the grouch that I like to pretend never surfaces. I'm trying to learn my lesson and not DO so much. And luckily neither Andrew or Isaac seem to be suffering the ill effects of yesterday's grouchy mommy. I wish it was as easy for me to forgive myself as it is for them to forgive me.

Onward and onward, my friends.

Yesterday, during Isaac's quiet time I made this scrapbook page about Dave. Dave and I frequently find ourselves in a mess of communication and when we do, Dave likes to remind me that HE was a Speech Communications Major. ;) I've written down some of his best lines and put them in the blue pocket on those tickets. I've been wanting to write down some of the zany things he says for a while now and like that I have this to use for that. He really does say the craziest things. I LOVE it.


erin said...

Oh please, please, please tell us what's on those tickets! I love Dave-isms. Let him know, per doctor's orders, I am getting enough mayo in my diet via pasta salad.

Funny write-up today. I am very familiar with that sinking feeling, "Oh hi little boy! I thought I was going to get a few things done" Sometimes the love of child and love of organization just clash.


Melissa said...

I love the Dave page. You are so cool, Robyn.

My heart would have dropped if I anticipate time to myself and then have a little one waiting unexpectedly. It's like when I get Enzo down for his nap, do a couple of things and then finally have my tea ready to sit and relax for a minute, and i just run to check on him, and he's sitting stright up in bed. Doesn't happen much, but it sure mixes things up when it does.

Hang in there. And yes, don't do so much. And maybe start an afternoon iced coffee habit. (-:

Kirsten said...

I enjoyed your story. Drama, suspense, grave mistakes. :)

there will be plenty of time for fall organizing, winter crafting and baking, and spring cleaning. This is just your Season of rest. :) well, rest and sweating.

Ladkyis said...

No one said that every mother must be perfect. They love you, no matter what you do or say you won't change it. They need to know that Mom can be scratchy and grumpy just so they know what the limits are. Don't beat yourself up for being human, you are doing such a great job, enjoy it. Tomorrow they will be going off to make their own life and you will wonder where the time went.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

Wonderful layout.

I find I am over it by 4pm on really hot days too. I've started Popsicle time at 4pm to combat it